how did this happen...

Bob brought home his 'choosing your secondary school' pack on Friday. We have to fill it in and send it back in two weeks.

I am very much not ready to choose his secondary school. There must have been a mistake, we must have missed some years, neither he nor I can possibly be old enough for this to be happening. When I buy a chicken, a bag of sugar, rice, I still look at its weight and compare it to his birth weight... Surely that kind of lunacy should have passed before we have to think abut 'big school'.

Next door have a 20 year old, I look at her and see someone I think of as being my age. I don't know what she thinks when she looks at me but I don't suppose she sees a peer. Somethings that I do make me feel very grown up - buying 12 packs of toilet rolls, making a bottle of wine last a week, having baby wipes in the car for sticky fingers, having a utility room, but honestly I feel like any moment now someone is going to pop up, tell me to stop wearing my mums shoes and go to bed.

Some days I feel positively ancient. Things ache, I buy sensible shoes, I plan a weeks worth of meals at a time to make the most of ingredients (I am very bored of what we are eating at the moment, another post for another time), I have a cheque book (I know I do, I just don't know where I've put it - see grown up and not, both at the same time).

Friends laughingly call me the oldest 34 year old they know... I potter, I knit, I crochet, I love an afternoon nap and an early night, antiques road show and a cookery programme and in someways they are right, but really I don't know where the time has gone. It shocks me every time I have to tell someone how old I am (and I know I'm not old, I'm just biologically about 10 years older than I think I am).

In other news, it was confirmed (superbly efficiently) by A and E this afternoon that Bob (returned, wet, cold, muddy and smelling of camp fires from cub camp) does not have a broken wrist, which is nice, there is an actual thing called a gonad shield for use in xray departments, presumably for shielding gonads, and I am seriously considering putting the heating on WHICH IS RIDICULOUS and I think we might need hot water bottles at bed time.